Lose the Lame Lingo (Resumes and 70's Pickup Lines)

When I was 19 I lived in New York, where the drinking age was eighteen. Thus it was perfectly legal for me to go dancing to Rick James and his ilk at the Ipanema Ballroom with my friend DeeDee, and I did.

One night, as I sat at a table by myself (DeeDee having taken a moment to powder her nose) a somewhat unsteady young man pulled up a chair at my table and sat down. Before I had a chance to react, he began a conversation with "Say, youdon't look so bad yourself," causing a question to flash into my mind: What'sthe term for a non-sequitur that doesn't follow anything?

Before I landed on the answer, the young man opened his mouth again and I thought, dear god, don't let him say "So, you come here often?"The poor thing did not disappoint. Gazing groggily across the table, he delivered the two-fer, "You come here often? And what's your sign?"

DeeDee soon regained her seat at the table and ousted the young man, and we all carried on with our lives right up through the present day. Surely these many years later the young man in the story has put aside those hackneyed ‘70's pick-up lines. No club-goer with the slightest grasp of what is seemly would dare let questions like "What's your sign?" or "Come here often?" or let "You don't look so bad yourself" pass his lips outside of a Wild 'n Crazy Guy imitation at a Halloween party.

We know better. Those old pickup lines are trite and embarrassing.

What does this story have to do with your resume? Plenty.

If you'd be horrified at the thought of greeting a fetching stranger with"What's your sign?" you should know that there are equally tired, unoriginal and cringe-worthy phrases strewn across the resumes of job-seekers today. It's time to root them out. In fact, it's long past time.

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