I Don't Like to Praise Myself. Is That Bad?

Dear Liz,

I've been to the outplacement sessions my company purchased for me
and I've been to networking classes. I still cannot get comfortable
with the idea that I should write (in cover letters and in my
resume) "I am smart" and "I am a great communicator" and "I am
talented." Am I just hung-up or what?

Thanks,

Edyta

---- LIZ REPLIES: -------------------

Dear Edyta,

Let's see - how long have you been communicating with other people,
at work and at home? I'm guessing you've got somewhere between 25 and
65 years of experience communicating with people. During all that
time, have you ever said to a complete stranger, "I'm smart" or "I'm
a great communicator" or "I'm talented"? Of course not.

The advice is wrong, and your gut is right. We don't need to and
absolutely shouldn't write things like "I am smart and capable" in a
resume or a cover letter, on a LinkedIn profile or anywhere else. We
shouldn't, because it's tacky and unprofessional and impolite. We
also don't need to! We can DEMONSTRATE these things far more
effectively and convincingly than we can assert them.

If you read a Personals ad that said "I am a smart, witty, cool guy
[or gal]" would you be impressed? Most of us would groan and
think "Ick." It's not pleasant to be in the presence of that sort of
self-adulation. We feel sorry for the person who writes that type of
thing, because s/he seems to lack an understanding of how people
communicate with one another.

It's the same way in job-search correspondence, which is, after all,
a form of communication. It's just like conversation. If we say "I'm
smart and talented" people read our materials and think "Well,
everyone says that, and if you are those things, why don't you prove
it instead of talking about?" If we write, instead, "I was pleased to
be chosen for the team to launch our firm's private-banking business
in Russia, and to beat our targets by four hundred percent" then
we've accomplished far more than our self-praise could ever have
done, in three ways:

1) We're being specific.
2) We're sharing a fact that could be checked out, if someone wanted
to verify the information.
3) We're talking about what happened in the real world, rather than
about how we see ourselves. The reader can decide for him- or herself
whether the fact is impressive. We're not saying "See how impressive
I am!"

Trust your gut, Edyta, and steer clear of the hackneyed, resume-
sinking verbiage that begs the resume-screener to believe in our
fabulousness. We don't need it, and it's demeaning to write. Use
examples and stories, instead, and your clever way with words to
share who you are and what you've done - just as in face-to-face
conversation.

Cheers -- Liz