Does Attitude Influence Job-Search Success?

Liz Ryan: Does attitude influence job-search success?
Liz Ryan, For the Camera

Dear Liz,

My job search is going well so far, I guess. I joined a job-search networking group that has weekly meetings. There are several very vocal, negative people in the group who basically spoil the experience for everyone else.

They use our meeting time ranting about how the job market stinks, every employer stinks, and the world is a cesspool. (I'm not exaggerating.)

The kicker is that when I try to turn the conversation to more positive topics I get criticized for my naivete and called "Pollyanna." I briefly left last week's meeting and when I came back in the room, one man was saying "What happened to the hippie girl?" (He meant me).

I guess I'm a hippie because I believe that intention is important in a job search or anything else I'm trying to accomplish. When I talk about positive intention and attitude in this group, I get mocked. So what's the point of going? Still, I hate to quit because I feel I have a positive influence on the less cynical members of the group.

What do you advise?

Thanks, Lauren

Dear Lauren,

First, I'm happy that job-search groups exist; most of them are fantastic resources. The YWCA Career Center offers awesome job-search support, so you might check with them. I'm sorry your group is such a downer.

My advice is to bolt. You need all the positive energy you can get right now. This group sounds like an energy-sucker if there ever was one. Don't stick around just to support the less-cynical members; they can find you if they want to.

Maybe you and they could create a new group, together! Let the doom-and-gloomers rant at one another. We can have compassion for people in that state, but we don't need to spend time around them.

As for hippies: I hail from Northern New Jersey, possibly the most cynical place on earth. I have zero doubt that intention and attitude have everything to do with success on a job search, a Mt. Everest expedition or the quest for a scientific discovery.

If attitude isn't everything, it's pretty darn close. We can -- and sometimes need to -- vent. "Man, this job-search thing is hard. Listen to this awful thing that happened to me last week."

We need our supportive friends to say "What a bummer! Now, let's talk about this week." They'll help us up, and we'll dust ourselves off and confirm our commitment to see the project through -- the job search, the mountain climb or the scientific discovery.

I deal with naysayers in my work occasionally, if by "occasionally" we mean a million times per day. I get letters that say "What's the point of job-search advice? Companies stink, life stinks," etc.

The good news is that I also hear from hopeful people like you -- folks who are game to try stuff, then try it, and find that it works. I feel sorry for the ones who've thrown in the towel. I don't know how to convince them that attitude matters. They'll learn it for themselves one day. As for you: plant yourself in fertile soil, and then blossom! You'll do more good that way than by trying to swim against the cynical tide.

Best, Liz