Is this networking?

Dear Liz,

I am new to networking and not sure of how it works all the time. Several friends of mine have referred me to friends of theirs who work in companies around town. They say "Call my friend Jackson" and they give me the number. I call Jackson at his desk, and I say "Hi, I'm a friend of Lauren's. I was wondering if there are any open Accounting positions in your company?" They say they don't know, and then they check it out and they send me an email message that refers me to the company's careers site. So what is the point?

Thanks,

Trevor


Dear Trevor,

I can understand your frustration. What you are talking about is not really networking, because it doesn't involve any connection between you and the person you're contacting, apart from the transactional question "Are there any open positions in your company?" We can't really be surprised when your new acquaintance refers you to HR in that situation. What else can he or she do? The person doesn't know you and can't recommend you. We're doing him or her a disservice when we call and ask a question that we could answer for ourselves by visiting the company's Careers site. In this scenario, simply being Lauren's friend doesn't give us enough social capital to expect the employed guy to do much for us, especially when we're really treating him as a means to our end.

Networking is a bit different. If we were networking with Lauren, we'd spend time with her in person or on the phone and learn about her, including her professional life and her ideas and plans. We'd see how we could help her, and she might help us too. She might make an introduction for us, for instance.

Let's say Lauren said to us, "I'll introduce you to my friend Willis, who works at Acme Dynamite." We'd say "Thanks Lauren! That is tremendous." We'd ask Lauren to send a two-way, email introduction that introduces Willis to us and vice versa. We'd follow Lauren's email message with a thank-you to her and simultaneous "nice to meet you" message to Willis. We'd ask Willis if he had a minute to talk by phone, in the same message.

If Willis had time to talk, we'd call him at the arranged time and introduce ourselves. We wouldn't ask him "Are there any open positions in your company?" If we were so direct about our needs we'd be signalling that the purpose of our call was strictly to further our job-search agenda. If that were the case, we could expect Willis to be insulted. He is a trusted friend of Lauren's and doesn't expect to be viewed merely as a conduit to someone's else's next job.

Instead, we'd ask Willis about his own professional life. "How did you get to Acme Dynamite?" "What do you like about the company?" You are meeting Willis and he is meeting you, in this call. If he wants to suggest a way that he could help you with your job search, he will. We can't ask him on such short acquaintance to join our cause. 

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